Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
