I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just had sex on a roof
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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