when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize