dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
