It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
