i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
