What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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