we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
