I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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