just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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