i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
