She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
