it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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