I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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