I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
