Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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