"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
