Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
should my penis look like a turkey
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
