You're so nebulous sometimes
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize