butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't make out with my wife yet
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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