I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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