An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
