trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
