All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
