Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How does one acquire holy water?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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