So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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