A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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