A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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