I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
