It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize