Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
