I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
