Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
this will be a night to untag.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
