so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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