thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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