i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
