ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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