I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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