on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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