My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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