Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.

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(443): View more from Maryland

So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.

(443): View more from Maryland

It breaks. We fall.

(443): View more from Maryland

I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?

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(208): View more from Idaho

Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.

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(585): View more from New York

I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college

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(225): View more from Louisiana

So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up

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