both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
