I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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