if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
