So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
