I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
