Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize