she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
