Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
