just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize