Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
