another moral hangover. fuck.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
