yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
