never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize