new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
