my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize