is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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