and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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