what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize