Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
