doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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