mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
where are my eyebrows?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
