I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
