I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
