Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
