No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
