Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
