Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
