So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
