wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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